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  • Merry Christmas from Our Favorite Cardinal

    Christmas is a very special time if you're a member of the Spanish Inquisition. Fang, Biggles and I usually have a whip round and then off to Xavier's place in Toledo for a game of darts (human) and a rack of lamb. Contrary to what you read in the Protestant press, no one gets tortured over the Christmas period. It is a season of goodwill and gives us a chance to clean up the equipment. So you can deck yourselves with holly, play "Confess!" and spend time with the kiddies secure in the knowledge that nobody need expect the Spanish Inquisition until 7.30 on January 1st. If you do want to convert to Catholicism over Christmas, or shop anyone who you think might want to, then you can reach us on our 24-hour Helpline - Owww! OhmiGod! Stop it ! - all calls charged at 25p.

    Feliz Navidad

    D.P. Ximenez (Cardinal and Chief Inquisitor)
    Flat 3, Residencia Brutale, Toledo

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